plants

Memories of Collapse by the amazing TwoClicks

Learning what feeling I'm feeling... It's something I constantly teach myself. Like a song, a feeling has its own rhythm. And how I orient myself in exploration of it is how the story becomes told.

People will consume me in a couple of years and see who they really think I am when I am really only them.

I'm learning not to care about a lot going on around me, and at the same time, how to care very intensely on what is right in front of me. It's a never ending meditation. Maybe we're all given this space to learn this focus. Why squander true intent? Unless that is your intent..

Isn't it odd that we have an autonomous nervous system. We've such a tendency to discard things that have become automated.

I've discarded writing. Until I start writing.

Looking at oneself honestly is painful because it reveals insecurity. It's so easy to cope and deal with a possibility as being more 'immediate.' At that point (or this) anything can seem as provocation or confrontation. So why not be free of the fight?

Because the fight also brings purpose?

Today I took shrooms and went for a walk around the park. There I met my father and we discussed the ways our lives have become a mirror of themselves. I described to him how I prepare healthy meals, and how it's okay to draw boundaries to protect your balance. Understanding your balance will help others do the same. You are not crushing another's momentum by protecting your own. You're creating space to guide the persona into a new field of understanding.

Wanting autonomy is natural.

Entitlement is violence.